Oct 21, 2016

Life of a Lagos Lawyer - Bad mornings (Episode 1)




It was a very beautiful day and I woke up feeling great. Like an angel had visited my bed side during the night and whispered to me that I was waking to one of the best days of my life. Jeffery, my driver, had detailed the custom Mercedes Benz S-Class and as the smell of the rich and luxurious leather drifted in my comfortable back seat, I could not help but notice my face on the cover of the Forbes Africa magazine being displayed on the news stand with the caption “The Best Lawyer in The World” written under my name. 


As we drove into the exclusive section of the Eko Atlantic, where my law firm sits on the most expensive piece of property in Lagos, I could not help but smile, I had done a great job and built a world class legal practice.  Jeffery, once again was getting the door, we had arrived and as I stepped out I could see my secretary walking up to me with a cup of coffee, Newspapers and shouting at the top of her voice “D-Law! D-Law! wake up, wake up, it’s almost 6.30, you will miss the BRT bus.

I opened my eyes and Godwin, my flat-mate, looked down on me with pity, like he sensed he had interrupted a sweet dream by the strange way I was looking at my surroundings. “D-Law, sorry I woke you but I noticed its 6.30 and you weren’t awake yet”. 6.30! I repeated, as I half-jumped off the bed, my mind coming to full alertness. If it was 6.30am and I was still at home, then I was already late for court proceedings and my boss will remove another N5,000 from my salary. That however was not my immediate worry, the most important thing was to get to the BRT bus stop in record time if I still wanted my job, the BRT queues in Ketu were notoriously long and it could take an hour just go to get on a bus.  

As the BRT bus pulled out of the park 45 minutes later and began its ride all the way to CMS and the body odour of the passenger standing beside me hit me like a wave, I could not help but remember my dream and shake my head, this was a bad morning. “Be a lawyer”, my teacher had said, “you will be a professional”. 

I wish I had rather followed the advice of my friend, segun, who had dropped out of school to face his passion for music, now he has a hit song titled “shake, shake your talents” and has a fleet of cars parked in his mansion in Lekki Phase 1 with a bevy of beautiful ladies fighting for his attention. I had decided to remove all distractions and face my career when I found out my girlfriend’s cousin, who had bought my girlfriend an Iphone 7 and gives her a 50k monthly allowance was not actually her cousin. I confronted her but she told me “only if I were an enemy of her progress will I ask her to stop seeing him”. Anyway she called off the relationship, two weeks after that. “No time for a scrub in this recession”, she had written in her last text message. 

As I alighted from the BRT bus, a text message arrived on my phone. The caller Id of the sender read “Oga” and the text read “Court has started sitting, but you aren’t here yet, this is extremely irresponsible of you, 5K will be deducted from your salary”. Oga, leave story o……………. 

Pls join us next weekend for another episode of “Life of a Lagos Lawyer”. An exclusive Legalnaija series.

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4 comments:

  1. works for me.....over a write up anyday

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol. Well done bro. It can only get better.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is ridiculously hilarious!!! I can totally relate. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The miserable life of a junior lawyer in Nigeria, it was great experience while it lasted,but never again! Am rlly not cut out for that life! Nice piece, keep it coming ...

    ReplyDelete

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